From the mind of a struggling Christian...
Before you read this, please note that I realise that there is a thin line between blasphemy and complete expression when it comes to Christianity and religion generally, but I’m still going to say this. These are thoughts I have had in my head for a long time, but finally found the words to express them through the inspiration I found from someone else’s Facebook post.
A few years ago, events unfolded that led me to doubt my faith. My faith in everything wavered; faith in God, faith in humanity and worse, faith in myself. It took a while, but I finally found my way back – at least I think so.
As it so often happens with many people, my doubts began with a personal tragedy which created myriads of questions in my head – but no answers were forthcoming.
The Bible is filled with promises, many of them conditional; but preachers of our day have not helped in proper clarification of these promises. Psalm 91 mentions something about God sending angels to keep us from “hitting our legs in stones”, and preachers want us to know that very much, but they ignore the most important part of the Bible that states that the ways of God and the ways of men are not the same (meaning what is a stone to us is no stone to God).
A few years ago, events unfolded that led me to doubt my faith. My faith in everything wavered; faith in God, faith in humanity and worse, faith in myself. It took a while, but I finally found my way back – at least I think so.
As it so often happens with many people, my doubts began with a personal tragedy which created myriads of questions in my head – but no answers were forthcoming.
The Bible is filled with promises, many of them conditional; but preachers of our day have not helped in proper clarification of these promises. Psalm 91 mentions something about God sending angels to keep us from “hitting our legs in stones”, and preachers want us to know that very much, but they ignore the most important part of the Bible that states that the ways of God and the ways of men are not the same (meaning what is a stone to us is no stone to God).
In telling the story of the good Samaritan, Jesus never mentioned if the man believed in God or not, he didn’t even speak of religion – but he somehow chose the story of a man who probably had no faith whatsoever to teach us who a proper Christian should be. In fact, earlier in that chapter (Luke 10) he explained to a lawyer how knowing the law is a good practice, but that is not all there is to salvation, being good people to each other is equally important. But what good are you if all the good you do is done with a mind of expectation of some form of reward for your efforts, this is not the life that Jesus preached.
Divides were put in place by humanity for reasons we ourselves do not even understand. Our Christian faith for one has so many divisions, all claiming to preach variations of the same message. I remember my secondary school days when we’d attend fellowship on Sunday with the Pentecostal congregation (before Catholic students had a separate fellowship), it was always an enjoyable time (the singing and dancing that is) until Coach began to preach (he almost always does the preaching). I remember him ruining almost every service for me because of his attacks on the Catholic faith – and we are all Christians
Divides were put in place by humanity for reasons we ourselves do not even understand. Our Christian faith for one has so many divisions, all claiming to preach variations of the same message. I remember my secondary school days when we’d attend fellowship on Sunday with the Pentecostal congregation (before Catholic students had a separate fellowship), it was always an enjoyable time (the singing and dancing that is) until Coach began to preach (he almost always does the preaching). I remember him ruining almost every service for me because of his attacks on the Catholic faith – and we are all Christians
Some of the best behaved people I met in boarding house those days were Muslims while there were those among us who exhibited behaviours that came arguably straight from hell, but were accepted Christians. And it is not uncommon to see Christians (even educated ones) talk about Islam and Muslims like they are all evil people who need to be done away with.
In finding my faith in God again, the words of NO PREACHER helped me, I rather convinced myself that I could never understand the words and ways of God, but I can try to be a good person and that’s all that matters. After all, Jesus did say that love is the greatest commandment of all. But the selfishness of everyone in the world today will make whoever we each worship extremely disappointed.
In finding my faith in God again, the words of NO PREACHER helped me, I rather convinced myself that I could never understand the words and ways of God, but I can try to be a good person and that’s all that matters. After all, Jesus did say that love is the greatest commandment of all. But the selfishness of everyone in the world today will make whoever we each worship extremely disappointed.
All hope is not lost however – at least that’s what I think. The words of a preacher who was never ordained (nor do I think he will ever be) teaches me that donating millions to my church while my neighbour starves is not Christian living, blessing my already wealthy pastor while my neighbour’s son cannot afford his school fees is not Christ – like and pursuing heaven based on following some set of rules doggedly while shredding the humanity that makes us who we are is improper.
Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve found my faith, or ever will – but I’ve resolved to foster a better world from my corner of it and try to find my faith in humanity – because that is where God says He’ll be found .
Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve found my faith, or ever will – but I’ve resolved to foster a better world from my corner of it and try to find my faith in humanity – because that is where God says He’ll be found .
